My Best Friend Had A Child By Another Man.

Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha.  My best friend has a twelve-year-old daughter, and she has been married for fifteen years.  Her husband is a very good man and this is their only child. 

 He has no idea that the child isn't his. I want to tell him but I don't want their marriage to break up.  I even know the child's "Real" father.  He has a feeling that this little girl is his but he said that he would be responsible for child support if he gets a DNA (what a low life!). Should I tell the husband?

Sashamoniquetalks:  I think you should stay out of this because it is really none of your business.  You said that she is your best friend and it is not your duty to turn on her.  

In due time the husband will find out but right now this child has a father who really loves her.  Do not break this child's, heart.  The "Real" father doesn't sound responsible and he may do this child a disservice. 

How Could You Do That To Your Child (Commentary)

Image of girl on a swing courtesy of Pixabay

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.  This week I don't have any questions to answer so I decided to speak on some subjects that I have seen or heard throughout my life.

I have known people who have had children in their teens, and of course, it was a mistake but they decided that they were going to work and go to school in order to improve their lot in life.  These ladies left the state where they were living and moved to an area that is known for having job growth and their intentions were to make money to send back home, to take care of their children that they, unfortunately, had to leave behind.

These ladies go out and find a job and they honor their obligations and send money back home but over time, they will start to disassociate with their children because they want a life of their own.  They will start to meet men and get into a new relationship.  Many times, the man will not know that these ladies have children till a lot of time has passed.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Unfortunately, the woman usually gets pregnant again and this time, the man is willing to marry them and the young lady will see this as a great opportunity to live a more secure life, but wait, what happened to the child or children that they left behind?  They usually have to continue to stay with grandparents or other extended family members.

The man who married the woman is not willing most of the time, to let the children from the previous relationship come and live in their home.  This woman has given up all her hopes and dreams of being involved in her children's lives.

  She played Russian Roulette with her kids because she honestly was more concerned about her happiness.  Her intentions were to get herself together but she slowly fell into a selfish trap of me, myself, and I.  Her kids didn't matter even though she told them that they did.

I have seen these women in action and most of the time they will have many children with their husbands but will never accept the child that they left behind.  How Could You Do That To Your Child!


Man portrait courtesy of Pixabay

The message in this post is, to stay true to yourself, and follow through with your plan.  If you cannot afford to raise one child then you should not have anymore.

  You are playing with someone's life and screwing up their mental stability because you were not woman enough to mother the children that you already had.  You fell short and you definitely should be ashamed of yourself.

It is never too late to redeem yourself.  If you didn't raise your children, reach out to them and sincerely tell them that you are sorry.  Invite them into your life and never let them go.

Fathers, Please Don't Abandon Your Children

                                         Fathers, Please Don't Abandon Your Children

Gentlemen, I wanted to touch on this subject because the holidays are upon us and it can be a very sad time for many men who don't have family or family they have given up. You may have had a relationship with a woman and things didn't go as planned and you have a child or children together. You may not get along with the mother or you are restricted from seeing your children but it is not an excuse to abandon your child.

We have Skype and Facetime and it makes it easier than ever to communicate with your children on a regular basis. If you are incarcerated, you can write your children letters to keep the parental relationship going. Please do not abandon your children over things the other parent is doing or not doing.

Many children of separation or Divorce are broken.  They are broken because they are silent victims of the decisions that their mother or father made. 

 I am a child of Divorce and let me tell you, I was sad most of my life because of it.  I don't blame my parents because sometimes things happen in a marriage that cannot be repaired.  One good thing, my father stayed in my life and refused to spend his life without us and it did make a difference in my life.

If you haven't seen your kids for a very long time, you can believe that one day your child will come looking for you. I think that it is never too late to reconnect with your children and if they find you, please do not reject your children. 

Life is short and you do not know why this child is looking for you.  They may be saying goodbye because of an illness or the other parent could be dying.  Give your kids a chance because they are here because of your choices.  

Be civil to your child's mom, so you can have a great relationship with your kids.  Help the mother financially to take care of your children and if you are out of work or on low-income support the other parent by babysitting the kids and picking them up from school. 

 This would help so much. There are so many things you can do to help the mother of your children and it doesn't involve a lot of money.

I hope that this post is helpful to you and if you would like to add anything, please leave a comment.

Advice To Baby Mama's And The Other Woman.

Image Courtesy Pixabay.

I decided to address this subject because of things I have seen women do in the past when involved with a married man.  If you find yourself doing these things please stop it and go on with your life.



What You Should Stop Doing:

1. Stop calling the wife's house asking for her husband.
2. Stop stalking your boyfriend's wife because it will not help your situation at all.  It shows just how weak you are.  You are secretly jealous of her because you want her position.
3. You get pregnant thinking that you can keep him.  He doesn't care how many babies you have.  If he wants to stay with his wife, this will not help you at all.
4. You are friends with the wife and you hang around her house every day so that you can be around her husband.  This is the sickest thing that I have seen women do.  It shows how cruel and sick you are.  She is his wife and you will never be her.  This makes you look really crazy.
5. You call and harass her on her job so she can get fired.  If you get her fired from her job, the more the husband will have to spend his money taking care of her and the family.  That means that you get nothing.
6. You send a friend request to her friends and family on Facebook.  You are so obsessed with this woman and you just want to know what she is doing at every second of the day and you want to get information from her friends.
7. You wait on her street to see her coming and going.  You keep stalking her because you know that she is a better woman than you and she is also much prettier.
8. You make love to her husband in her bed.  Lady, this shows how wicked you are and these are things that a woman without any class will do.
9. You try to find a way to be around your boyfriend's children.  This won't do you any good and it will make his children hate you in the long run.  
10. You make your boyfriend leave his wife and children and move in with you.  No matter how much you make love to this man, if he wants to be with his wife, he will be with her.  It shows what kind of person he is and it definitely tells a story of the home wrecker that you are.

Ladies, these men are out for what they can get, and if you make yourself available to be the side piece the man will never respect you and you will have to pay for all the things that you did to break up a home.  Should you get this man to leave his wife and marry you, he will never respect you and he will surely do the same thing to you or worst.

Find your own man because being a sidepiece is really nothing!